Is not the answer to all. Sometimes you have to take things into your own hands.
I won't preach. I won't tell people they're going to hell because they don't believe what I believe. I read a book once, about a woman who died and was sent back to earth because it wasn't her time yet. I found the book in a Goodwill, of all places, and I don't believe it was coincidence.
In this book (she wrote it herself), she outlines what she remembers of heaven, and gives us a bit of insight to life's real purpose. They way I understand it, is that in our 'pre-life', we choose our own challenges and obstacles, and in life, we face and overcome them. What happens if one doesn't, I don't know. I found this book in a bit of a down point of my life, and I think it gave me a resolve to perservere past my own shortcomings and weaknesses, and become a better person. If I can't face up to challenges I chose for myself, how will I be able to deal with it in the afterlife?
Knowing this, I made up my mind to chase my own dreams, and leave my brother behind. He does nothing but hold me back. I swear right now, I will never take a step backwards again. If he tries to drag me down, I'll break his hold and leave him in the dust. I hold no love for him anymore. I doubt I'd cry or even be upset if he died. I know it sounds horrible, but it's the truth. That's who I am now. Deal with it.
I'm not saying 'to hell with my family'. I appreciate my parents and all they've done for me, but some of their selfish desires have held me back. Like my mother sheltering me. If not for my Aunt, who is more lenient with her children, I would still be a child, in mentality. I can't see why she feels the need to shelter me so much.
As for my father... I used to like spending time with him, but not anymore. He overanalyzes, is anal about everything, and gets pissed if I have a problem with him. That's why I'm so timid and softspoken. I'm so afraid that he'll get angry and start yelling. That's what I remember from my childhood: yelling. Fighting. Animosity. He can't stand the thought that he might be wrong about something. He harps on things. And I refuse to take it anymore. I'm done.
Once December comes, I'm out. I can make it on my own if I put my mind to it.
fed up and moving on.