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30 September 2009 @ 02:18 pm
I am SO ready to leave. Mostly because my 30-minute commute often turns into a 50-minute commute because of some asshole going 30 in a 55 on the two-lane roads I have to traverse to get to school. And most of the time, it's THE WHOLE WAY. ALL FOURTEEN MILES. And it drives me nuts, because those people who crawled along in front of me are responsible for almost all the times I was late to class. I hate having to drive so much. I hate going into my room when I get home because it feels like I'm walking into a cave. Natural light? Only in the evenings, thanks to the angle the house is at. And that is necessary for me. Without it, I feel drained. I'm very closely tied to the outdoors.

And CPCC Levine sucks. It offers, like, three art classes which are all booked up five minutes after registration begins. And I'll have to go to Central campus eventually anyway. It makes SO much more sense to do it now and move into town, taxes be damned. That I can handle. If I have a bigger paycheck. I'm not asking for Donald Trump's salary. All I want is a decent wage. And 8$ an hour, 20hrs a week ain't cutting it. I'm still actively searching for employment, even though I have a job. I don't care what the manager thinks, I'm outta there as soon as I get better money, because I can't sit around wasting time appeasing people when I have plans for my future and I need to make progress.

And then we come back to him. The thing that just so happens to be born of the same parents as me. Useless. Completely unwilling to support himself, and my parents are doing what? Nothing. Jack-shit. Three years I've told them that this emotional stress is destroying me, and they STILL haven't done anything. I told them that if they don't kick him out, I'm gone. And I fully plan to deliver on that ultimatum.
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Current Mood: angryfed up
11 January 2009 @ 11:49 pm
A few quotes from my father of late:

"What are you, a bottomless pit?"
"You can't possibly eat all that."
"I'd go out there in the morning. That's what I'd do."
And countless instances of him going "You know who that is?", when we're wathing a TV show, and then lauching into a short biography of the person which I don't really give a shit about anyway, and me consequently missing, like, two minutes of important dialogue. Which is exactly why I watch TV shows alone now. Between him doing that, Taylor and his inane, irrelevant and altogether ignorant narratives, and my mother asking "What does that mean?", or "Who is he?" every five seconds, I can't really stand it.
Bloody effing HELL, Somebody hire me. You'd be saving a life, here.

Not that anybody gives a shit, really.
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Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
24 October 2008 @ 07:16 pm
Yeah. This is really pissing me off. T_T

I don't think it's fair of people to criticize Palin for using 150 grand for her wardrobe when, at the democratic convention, Obama was delivering a speech on an enormous set that resembled the Parthenon, like he was preaching to the people. If anybody should be accused of vanity, it's them.

And about all this 'experience' crap? It amuses me to no end that left-leaning voters and politicians are criticizing Palin for her 'lack of experience, when Obama has less experience than she does. And remember, he's campaigning for president. That right there makes the whole argument moot, really. It's hypocrisy, plain and simple.

And does anybody else notice that some of Obama's follwers are starting to get a little cultish? It worries me. I'm reminded of Hitler's supporters. No, I am not saying Obama is the next Hitler, I'm just saying that it's a bit worrisome that they're acting that way.

Also, somebody start picking on Biden. He really seems to like how his feet taste, because he's constantly sticking them in his mouth. What an idiot.

16 October 2008 @ 03:43 am

Is not the answer to all. Sometimes you have to take things into your own hands.


I won't preach. I won't tell people they're going to hell because they don't believe what I believe. I read a book once, about a woman who died and was sent back to earth because it wasn't her time yet. I found the book in a Goodwill, of all places, and I don't believe it was coincidence.

In this book (she wrote it herself), she outlines what she remembers of heaven, and gives us a bit of insight to life's real purpose. They way I understand it, is that in our 'pre-life', we choose our own challenges and obstacles, and in life, we face and overcome them. What happens if one doesn't, I don't know. I found this book in a bit of a down point of my life, and I think it gave me a resolve to perservere past my own shortcomings and weaknesses, and become a better person. If I can't face up to challenges I chose for myself, how will I be able to deal with it in the afterlife?

Knowing this, I made up my mind to chase my own dreams, and leave my brother behind. He does nothing but hold me back. I swear right now, I will never take a step backwards again. If he tries to drag me down, I'll break his hold and leave him in the dust. I hold no love for him anymore. I doubt I'd cry or even be upset if he died. I know it sounds horrible, but it's the truth. That's who I am now. Deal with it.

I'm not saying 'to hell with my family'. I appreciate my parents and all they've done for me, but some of their selfish desires have held me back. Like my mother sheltering me. If not for my Aunt, who is more lenient with her children, I would still be a child, in mentality. I can't see why she feels the need to shelter me so much.

As for my father... I used to like spending time with him, but not anymore. He overanalyzes, is anal about everything, and gets pissed if I have a problem with him. That's why I'm so timid and softspoken. I'm so afraid that he'll get angry and start yelling. That's what I remember from my childhood: yelling. Fighting. Animosity. He can't stand the thought that he might be wrong about something. He harps on things. And I refuse to take it anymore. I'm done.

Once December comes, I'm out. I can make it on my own if I put my mind to it.
Current Mood: determinedfed up and moving on.
07 October 2008 @ 04:06 pm
Dream diary post.

Las night I dreamt of Fullmetal Alchemist, but not in the way you'd think. I get the feeling this is a recurring dream, because some of it felt familiar.

It's like a profile of Ed's family, being done by a TV station. I see Rose sitting at a table and smiling at the camera, and there's some announcer prattling on and on in the background about 'Mrs Elric.' Then their son steps out of the corner, and sets a coffee mug on the table for his mom. I forget the name.

Things get blurry for a moment, and then I get to see Ed, except he looks like Hohenheim now. He's sitting on a bench facing away from the camera, and the camera itself is shaking like one of those reality shows where they jostle the camera to 'make it look more real'. His young daughter bounds over to him, and he half turns around and smiles at her. The camera switches to a close up of his head. He's ignoring the camera, by the way.

Here's the weirdest part: Other than the announcer, who's shut up by now, Ed is the only one to talk in this dream. AND HE SPEAKS IN SCOTT MCNEIL'S VOICE. AKA Hohenheim. He still has bangs, but also has a beard. No glasses, I think.

As for what he says to his daughter, it's something like "Hello, my love. Do you have a ____ for me?" (I think it's kiss, but I can't remember). And then he picks her up and kisses her on the nose.

And then? My dad woke me up. Dammit, dad.

Anyway, this has been Inside Sarah's Twisted Mind.
Until my next bizarre dream! *waves*
Current Music: Do the songs I have stuck in my head count?
13 August 2008 @ 05:04 am
Fandom: FMA
Rating: PG? *shrugs*
Theme: Somewhat of Papa!Roy, general Elric angst/comedy.
Notes: Minor OOC, TWT, although I did have an idea of it being later in the manga storyline. Even though Hughes is in it. >.> Let's just say AU, then.
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Current Mood: sleepysleepy
06 August 2008 @ 05:17 pm
Hating my life right now.Collapse )
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
01 August 2008 @ 12:57 am
Had this chapter done for awhile, but forgot to post it. Woopsie.

Gonna forgo the header thing, because LJ is being an ass tonight.

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Current Mood: crankycranky
08 July 2008 @ 01:43 am
So. I spilled a bottle of crazy glue all over my hand, which I only got to fix my desk which I broke while moving it in my room. There goes twenty minutes of soaking my hand in warm water. I have a 600$ insurance bill due in August, AND NO JOB DAMMIT SOMEBODY CALL ME BACK WUUDBJMLSKJHUF.

So yeah.

Lief sucks @ the mo. srsly.
04 April 2008 @ 05:01 pm

Title: Still don't know.
Fandom: FMA, and another... read to find ouuuut... >:D
Rating: Probably an overall R, just to be safe. Language. And other stuff in coming chapters.
Disclaimer: I do not own either of these series. Dammit.
A/N:This is purely experimental. If you guys like it I'll continue. I may even if you don't XD

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Current Mood: thirstyneed...water...